Insensitive

Writing The Daily Sampler this year seems to be much more about therapy for me rather than entertaining you. I’m sorry. I hope we can get back to that other stuff soon. I have about 4 total topics on my mind lately:

  • Wondering why women who have been through a miscarriage have to deal with insensitive negative fallout in the weeks following. More on that later.

  • I love being vegan*! I am turning into one of those vegans who wants to talk about it with EVERYONE because it makes me so excited and makes me feel so good.

    *I feel the need to always asterisk this statement by saying I am a fake vegan, as in- I’m eating WFPB (whole food, plant based) for health reasons. But I still love it and wouldn’t mind forcing you into it, too.

  • How should I fix up my house? A favorite pastime of mine in the dark winter months is driving around my neighborhood at night, peering into people’s windows for decorating ideas. I’ve already found a dining room light fixture I want.

  • New opportunities. As I escape things I don’t want to think about, I’m spending much more time thinking about things that pump me up. The creative juices are flowing and I want to use them on you. Gross.

So let’s get this out of the way. I have been deeply irked by something that occurred this week and want to write about it primarily to find out if this is the norm in the medical community or for other women who’ve suffered a pregnancy loss.

One of the things that adds insult to injury in the weeks following a miscarriage is all the medical bills one receives. Think blood work, ultrasounds, surgery, etc. I get it, these are services we must pay for, but it definitely isn’t easy to receive a nearly $3,000 bill (basically the same bill you incur after delivering a healthy baby,) and then not even have a baby to bring home with you. American health care: you really blow.

Then, I received the doozie. I opened a bill from my own OBGYN and discovered a $350 bill for…. wait for it……….an abortion. That’s right. In 2019, there is only one code (apparently?!) for the medical procedure I received- a D&C, aka dilation and curettage, after finding out my baby’s heart stopped beating. So after experiencing the loss, going through the physical healing and working on the mental healing, I received a bill for a medical procedure that insinuates I asked for all of this to happen. AND it will cost me $350. I have a problem with that. I am pro-choice. I could never imagine having to make that decision and I don’t envy women who have had to. Personally, I never could- so to know that will be on my medical record forever… I just can’t deal.

Is this a normal medical code that every practitioner uses for such a procedure or is it just my exceptionally cruel OBGYN? If others have experienced this, my love to you. Talk about another punch in the gut.

So when I’m not digesting my pretend “abortion,” I am avoiding it completely by finding new ways to get excited about life. For instance, the WFPB lifestyle. Not even two full weeks back at it and my spirit is lifted- my body beginning to reverse damage. I am hungrily (pun intended) following new Instagram feeds for recipe inspiration. PLEASE connect me to your favorite vegan/wfpb peeps! I’m also sharing with friends who are interested in dabbling in the clean eating life. As I was telling some people today, once over the sugar detox, I rarely experience food FOMO, and we know I love food. As long as I can find a suitable substitute for whatever I’m craving, I am happy. The Clean Food Dirty Girl website and private Facebook group has been my savior. Highly recommend checking them out!

Other great escapes? Booze. I’ll tackle that later. I love it and I need it right now. Music. Buffalo- HIRE MY BAND PLEASE, thanks. And there’s that great creative flow emerging from all of this devastation. Don’t they say that the best art/music/work is done when life is the hardest? I buy it.