Control

Hello.

Where have I been? Let’s see. As you know, I am a proud (overwhelmed) homeowner now. I’m thankful to receive reminders from people in my life that just a few short months ago, I would have killed to have rooms and rooms of wallpaper to remove. They are right. I have been letting my overachiever psyche get the best of me and breaking down over the sheer amounts of wallpaper that remain in the home that I own. Let it go.

I had my first brush with a creepy/psycho internet stalker. That’s really where I’ve been- hiding. After some scary messages from a person who certainly has some mental issues, I retreated from the social sphere because I was scared. I suppose I’ve been lucky that I’ve spent all this time enjoying social media and sharing my life without any uneasiness. Many others haven’t been so lucky.

After feeling afraid, I got angry. Being online is my actual job. I can’t just stop. And frankly, I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to stop writing about my experiences. I don’t want to be frightened into submission. I know this is a very normal part of the online experience now, especially for women. It sucks. I’m not going to be scared away. That’s all I’ll say about it. Let it go.

Life continues to swirl around me and my focus is to be at the center of it; the calm in the middle of constant chaos. I’m conditioned to attempt to control it all, but- it can’t be done. Let it go.