Guys. It's been a minute, I know. I'm here today mostly for therapeutic reasons. Because I have more than enough on my plate to worry and feel guilty about, I'll try not to add how I relaunched The Daily Sampler and then abandoned it when life got too crazy. Today is a day for letting go of these things.
So much has happened. Personally, I have good news that I'll share with you soon. IT'S NOT A BABY, MOM.
During my good personal juju, some bad things have occurred, too- and it's all but thrown me into a tailspin of anxiety and sadness. As I've said before, collectively as a western species, I think we're struggling with the constant bombardment of bad news and it has depressed us all to some extent. Then, throw in tragic news from someone important to your daily life and work- and it feels nearly impossible to rise above.
As I have in the past, I've turned to my usual vices to get me through: too much food, too much alcohol, not enough sleep, too many tasks on the to-do list, anything to make me forget. A month of that catches up to you quickly. My body hurts. My insides hurt. My brain hurts. I haven't been feeling well. I'm drained and the smallest thing sets me into a rage of exasperation. I hate it. I hate it.
My very calm and opposite-from-me husband gave me some advice last night. Do one thing- and ONLY- one thing that makes me feel good on Saturday. He made me choose it last night. I chose morning yoga: nothing fancy, outside on my back deck before the world awakens. I frequently fall into the trap of trying to do too much to "fix" something, and then feel like a failure when it backfires. I picked my one thing and went to bed.
I should also note that husband encouraged me to think of the movie, 'Frozen.' I'm like, "Yeah, yeah. Let it go. I get it." And he's like, "No. You're pulling an Elsa. Fear is your enemy. Your thoughts are so powerful, and right now they're dominated by fear which is making everything in your life worse" He would be so mad if he knew I shared his Disney advice. Don't worry, he doesn't read this blog. But seriously, he said the silly right thing I needed to hear. Can you tell we're parents to a 2-year old princess-in-training?
I woke up this morning, dusted off the mat and brought it outside. Within 5 minutes, I felt my body aligning to its natural state and my tension beginning to subside. Of course, the other thing I noticed was the family of ants who took a liking to my yoga mat surface. It was fine. I wasn't about to disrupt the circle of life during my moment of peace. I did yoga around the ants and we were all feeling happy and grateful.
It's funny how 30 minutes of wobbly, rusty yoga immediately cleared my head and started the repair on all the physical damage I've been doing. There's so much to be done, many things to ponder and lots to plan and execute. Sometimes it's just that one positive thing that is the most important thing to do.