It was never my intention to re-launch this blog and then abandon it all summer, but that’s how life goes, right?

Many of my intentions for 2024 have gone by the wayside in the sweeping busyness of life, and in dealing with the unrelenting heavier things I’ve been grappling with personally. When the heavy gets too heavy, I’m reminded how important those intentions really are.

Here are a few intentions and practices I’m reconnecting with in the weeks ahead:

-This blog (hi!)
-Beautiful things and experiences (music, art, theater, a sunrise, a conversation, a clean home and workspace)
-Tending to myself first (through a solid morning practice. More on that in a moment.)
-Less time doing, more time being (I’m terrible at this.)

I’ve allowed myself to become totally immersed in work tasks and plans because it gives my favorite type of high: accomplishment dopamine. But instead of doing the work and closing the laptop when the work is over, I am addicted to my phone, continuing the endless work of showing up for my brand, having conversations about things I care about with strangers on the internet. I scroll for inspiration as I sit by my daughter’s bedside each night, hoping she’ll fall asleep quickly and stay asleep. Unhealthy habits have taken over my good intentions.

Last night I tried something different. Instead of scrolling or working on unfinished copy projects at the foot of her bed, I went in with my AirPods, journal and a pen.

“You will sit here with your breath and thoughts, damn it,” I scolded.

It took me a few minutes to reconnect with that deeper place, but once I did, the relief and peace was immediate. Like riding a bike– the muscle memory was there. The very first thing that happened was an overwhelming and conditional sense of love. I know how woo and cliché that sounds, but it’s what happened. Sure enough, tears started to flow down my face. It was a release I didn’t know I needed, one not caused by overwhelm but by experiencing compassion for myself, for some of the situations I’ve been living, and for the people I love.

There was also a quiet reminder that change can come quickly. Feeling better doesn’t have to take weeks. It can happen in a matter of minutes.

I woke up this morning no different than yesterday. I slept terribly. My body hurts from a deteriorating mattress. Daughter was up well past midnight, exhausted and struggling. But I entered today with the memory that three years ago, I was in a similar burnout pattern. I changed it with one simple question that led to one simple practice. I asked myself,

“How can I create a beautiful morning?”

At that time, it meant carving 30+ minutes for myself to do whatever felt good: have a hot cup of coffee, listen to soothing meditation music while journaling, go for a walk, just sit like a lump on the coach under soft blankets… whatever I needed.

Putting myself first, before everyone else approached with their needs was the game-changing practice I desperately needed, and it changed my heart and mind swiftly.

Today I made the coffee, poured a cool glass of fresh water, grabbed my journal and Pods and sat in the direct sunlight of a late summer morning. It was medicine.

As the clock strikes 9 a.m. on Monday morning, I’m proud that I’ve already seized the day with my new practice and written in this blog for pleasure (and therapy!) I’m dressed to go on a walk. Work will wait. My kids are in good hands with my parents. I will create more space in my home and heart for the best intentions to take shape.

Nothing matters more.