The age when nostalgia firmly sets in? 39.5.

I’ve started to have all these sappy feelings about nuggets of yesteryear that today’s generation will never know, understand, or appreciate. (And as I rock in my rocking chair on the porch, yelling at kids to get off my lawn, it makes me sad!)

Gone are the days of: 

“May I ask who’s calling?”
A.k.a the polite way to find out who is on the other end of your landline, now a relic of the past. You get to see who’s calling on a little screen you keep in your pocket and actively ignore those calls. No more putting solicitors “on hold” for an extended amount of time to see how long they’ll wait on the line before hanging up- my go-to move in the late 90’s.

Endless quoting of funny movies, particularly starring Will Ferrel.Correct me if I’m wrong, but the young’ns of today don’t watch movies. They don’t have TBS on in the background playing “Mars Attacks” or “As Good as it Gets” or sadly, even “Old School” because NO ONE HAS CABLE. Watching a movie means making an active choice to sit and focus on one story for 2 hours without the built-in bathroom breaks of episode bingeing and the mindless background noise of an E! reality show. Don’t even get me started on Tik Tok.

I’m relieved to see several of my favorite movie lines living on in gifs and memes, but you’ll rarely get an old zinger mid-conversation anymore.

Drug store beauty
I remember when I started to wash my face with more than a washcloth. My mom proudly presented me with the best of the best: Noxzema before bed! It had a weird signature smell and tingled on my face. Must be working! From there, it evolved into Clinique and Clearsil and Proactiv when things got dicey.

Now I hear kids are investing in $50 face creams at 11. 

Hang on, let me get my hanky out to wipe away my tears.

Drinking 
I just had this conversation with my Gen X husband. The kids don’t drink anymore! They have matcha lattes and drink Athletic Greens! Drinking seems to be going the way of the cigarette. Husband declared his group as “the last great generation of alcoholics.” Lol. 

Obviously, we’re fine with this one. Gotta balance out the $50 face cream + with healthier kids. 

I could go on about the things I will hold on a pedestal forever:

• Burned CDs
• Listening to ENTIRE albums (that aren’t by Taylor Swift or Beyonce)
• Standing in line at the local grocery store for a voucher to buy concert tickets
• Physically renting movies at Blockbuster on a Friday night
• Appointment TV
• Talking to each other

My millennial friends: what are you mourning from our formative days? Leave ‘em in the comments, then go take your calcium chew.