One of the first things I thought about when considering writing about becoming a mom is, “I don’t want to be like one of them.” Them = my perception of the ultimate “mommy blogger.” In my head, this title comes with the characteristics of being judgmental, showboat-y, super righteous, and maybe a side of self-important. I realize I am being judgmental just by having these preconceived notions of moms on the Internet. I am open-minded enough to know that I as I go on, I will likely be proven incorrect by many talented, smart, sassy women out there (and I look forward to that.)
To start off, let me share a few examples of things that turn me OFF about digital motherhood.
1.) The Overshare. This may apply more to social media than other platforms, but for someone who has loved each incarnation of internet sociability since the earliest days of !dial-up! America Online, I made a decision long ago that I didn’t want to be the parent who shared 12 new pictures of my child with the world, every single day, even though I will WANT to. Badly. Or share that he had explosive diarrhea the night before. Or crowd source advice on potty training. Because I haven’t been there yet, I may have just been fooling myself all along and will actually participate harder in these things than others, and then you can all laugh at and judge me, but I think it stems from still wanting to be me after I become a mom. I know I will be obsessed with my kid (and that’s a good thing,) but I think my greatest fear is that I’ll lose my identity, my likes and dislikes, all of my favorite adult activities, and my ability to think and talk about things other than my precious babies. Whoa, that got deeper than I intended. I mostly wanted to tell everyone that we like your kids, but we also like it when you’re just being yourself and share pictures of your first skiing lesson or something.
2.) The Preach. One of my least favorite things to see is a Facebook sharing of an article where some random mother in the world tells us all we are “doing it wrong” because we aren’t feeding our children organic food, or because we are dressing them a certain way, or letting them cry too long. The article usually continues on to provide “proof” about how the child will grow up to have ADHD, social issues, or become a murderer. Okay, maybe I’ve never seen a mommy blog that declares your child will likely become a murderer, but I bet I could find one if I tried. And then the Facebook friend who shared said article includes a comment like, “SEE? THIS IS WHY I MAKE MY OWN LAUNDRY DETERGENT!” The Preach also goes hand-in-hand with The Look At How Amazing We Are category- as in, my family does it right/perfectly. Care to mimic us? Luckily, the latter is mostly found in the celebrity Goops and “I talked about losing baby weight slowly, but look at this picture of my baby and I in my sexiest lingerie” Instagram accounts.
3.) The Indignant Rant. This one I have mixed feelings about. This is grouped into the “how dare he/she mistreat me and my child” or the “he/she has no right to tell my child what to do” category. Much of this is product of the mama bear fierce protection that is one of the most natural parts of being a mom. Unfortunately, I also think some of it comes from the society we’ve created of oversensitivity and the “my situation is more important than your situation” mentality. Now truly, I am also guilty of this mentality in regular life. I am beside myself when waiting in line at Old Navy during my lunch break with one item to ring up, and the woman in front of me has two full carts of merch, and is huffing and puffing impatiently. PS- she also has A LOT OF coupons. Lady, I’ve got about 7 minutes to pay for this and get back to Customer Relations- and you clearly have all day to look for every bargain in Western New York. How dare you not let me cut in front of you! I have somewhere to be! See? Guilty. I can only imagine my tiger claws will come out if someone did or said something to my kid that I felt was unjust. I guess my biggest hope is that I have enough of a sense of humor to not take myself or my situation too seriously, and maybe see things from the other side. The other side may have some viable input, too.
So that’s my main three of why I can’t stomach the world of mommy blogging. As a person who wants to be a cool, zen, fit (sigh), and fun mom, I would love and am VERY open to great blogs that share inspiration, humor, and maybe some snark. I don’t think we should lose our self-deprecating snark just because we are goddesses who created and brought life into this world. [hand praise emoji]. Please do share any that you love or have relied on for great ideas! And as always, tell me if you need me to shut the hell up. I am always open to that, too.