Just like this entire month, I meant to post more New Year’s thoughts but didn’t. December 2014- I won’t really miss you. Sayonara. The good news is, it was because I was doing something useful (yoga.) My little pep talk reminiscing about the valuable lessons I learned in Warrior II benefitted me as well and I yearned for some stretching. It felt good, and though I missed out on precious writing time, it reminded me of another resolution I have for 2015.
Success. We all want it- but what does it mean? What does it look like? What does it bring to our lives once we grab hold of it? In America, success typically means “having it all.” As in, you are healthy, happy, gainfully employed, hand-in-hand with a loving spouse, maybe a few kids or a dog, and of course you’re relatively attractive and well-liked by all. You have enough money for a house with granite countertops (or maybe you’re installing those in 2015,) and pride yourself on your 4:30AM gym start. You’re the best..around.. nothing’s gonna ever keep ya down! I want to be that person. Don’t you?
Well, more often than not, I’m reminded that it might be impossible to be flawless. Sorry, Bey… In fact, it might not even be good to attempt flawlessness, all of the time. It’s exhausting, and often fruitless. I know that the days when I’m barely able to complete 2 or 3 solid to-do list items, I feel like a failure. That means, even if I spent all day cleaning a closet, going to one Zumba class, or spending time with a friend, I consider that a fail more often than not. WTF?! This is the way I’ve conditioned my mind through years of ‘Type A’ existence, and for as much as planning has helped me, the nonstop quest for perfect success has not served me in the way I’d like it to. Instead, it’s left me stressed and unable to enjoy some of the special moments AND the ordinary moments in my life.
Is that success? Doing it all until we crash? I’m learning no- it’s not. In 2015, I’m going to work more on appreciating the days when I take time to have tea with my mom, catch an afternoon nap, and sing a song well out of my vocal range. Not every task has to come from a to-do list, and not every step of life has to be measured in money, notoriety, or retweets.
And if that’s too hard, I can just feel good about the fact that I gave up Splenda in 2014. I am SERIOUSLY proud of that one.