Snowvember 2014 Part II – Tips and Tricks for Surviving a Sno-nami

I write this entry wondering how many new hashtags we can get out of this historical weather event. Snowvember is adorable, but if things really go the way the news is forecasting, it will officially be upgraded to Snowpocalypse, and that’s way less adorable.

It hit me fully this morning that we’re dealing with a very serious ordeal here. Six people have died so far. People from across the world have started reaching out to me to see how we’re holding up. I’ve always been grateful that of all possible acts of God, snow is the one we have to deal with. It sucks, but it’s doable, and sometimes, it’s pretty! No one can say a hurricane is pretty, and I know from experience, there is nothing doable about a tornado lurking around the corner. For all of those following along from outside the lines of the snow band, I’ll be updating as we go. Our current progress: about half way up our long driveway. If we get to the street by day’s end, it’ll be real interesting breaking through the 9 foot wall the one or two plows have created. Also, all roads leading in to or out from my house are still closed. So, no Dairy Queen for us.

Here are a few tips and tricks I’ve acquired the last 24 hours:

  • Workout clothes are excellent layering tools for wading through chest-deep snow. They’re tight, moisture-wicking, and make you feel like should the snow crush down around you, you’d have at least a good hour before it starts to eat your skin off.
  • Tuck everything!
  • Never venture into the chest-deep snow without a shovel, or at least a broom. It will help you navigate, stay on your feet, and the broom will help you clear the DirectTV dish, which is among the most important elements for survival.
  • Clear your basement window vents, otherwise: gas fumes. I don’t know why. Just take my word for it.
  • After yelling at your husband to not stick his hand in a running snow blower, apologize right away, because you’re a team, and he is the key to a decent lower back massage later, post-shoveling.
  • Start supplementing your stress and fear with whatever alcohol you have earlier than 7PM. Try to choose wine if you can; it’s good for your heart.
  • Drink a lot of water before you do that. Be smart about it.
  • Ignore people who are mean to you because they live somewhere other than the snow band and don’t get it. Jerks.

That’s all for now. May the odds ever be in your favor, Western New York.

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