So your government shut down. Now what? Grab a cocktail (which cost you almost nothing to prepare,) and remember all of the reasons why America is da bomb!
1. Hello- you are reading this blog on your smartphone or laptop, both of which cost significantly less than it would any other place in the world. I’ve done some of the research on that one, personally.
2. Did I already mention cheap wine/beer/liquor? You don’t know what this means until it’s gone.
3. American cheese. I know I’m repeating some of my Why I Love America items, but I STILL do not have access to American cheese so, deal with it.
4. Top Chef. The real version. You guys enjoy it for me when it premieres tomorrow, k?
5. Powerball and Mega Millions. You’ll never win, but at least you can pretend you might.
6. Michelle Obama’s arms.
7. Pizza that tastes good, (well except for Florida. You guys can’t be included in this one.)
8. NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, professional golf (if you’re desperately bored.)
9. American Netflix.
10. Only one kind of sales tax.
11. Mount Rushmore. Never been there- I’m a little creeped by it.
12. The real Thanksgiving.
13. Jell-o (and Jell-o shots, specifically in red, white, and blue layers.)
15. Our very own royal couple.
16. A nice selection of department stores.
17. Decent public schools, mostly.
18. People getting shit done. Because it’s their job. And it happens in a timely fashion.
19. Payless – for cheap shoes, because that’s why they named it Payless, right? For the cheap shoes?
20. America is the home of the brave, baby.
And in case you aren’t appropriately appreciating your country, let this perspective fully take you home:
The shutdown is crap, yes of course it is. Short of calling up your representatives, what can you do about it? Nothing. So grab another $1 beer and be thankful for what you’ve got.