UPDATED: Live Sampling: The 2013 Oscars

  • I started with E! at 3PM EST. Unnecessary. Switched over to 3 hours of DVR Nashville and Smash. Better use of time.
  • I could go on and on about red carpet fashion, but I’ll leave that to fashionistas worldwide. I’ll handle any wardrobe malfunctions.
  • Red carpet interviews are always super awkward/creepy. Re: Ryan Seacrest forcing Joseph Gordon Levitt to meet his idol on camera, Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman face: who the F is this?
  • Wait, so it doesn’t start until 8:30? Poor husband.
  • Okay I’m back.
  • Oh my. The ABC Kristen Chenowith interviews are painful. “Baby” this and “baby” that.
  • And they’re getting right into it. No big musical number?
  • I don’t particularly care if Seth MacFarlane is successful. But so far I’m kind of uncomfortable. He’s nervous.
  • Bored. I’ve gotten into the dark chocolate.
  • When desperately flailing, bring in William Shatner.
  • Oh, maybe he’s “trying” to be bad?
  • I could probably go switch my laundry before “We saw your boobs” ends.
  • Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron? Now we’re talking (I’ve dreamt about them both, separately)
  • Aw they’re adorable and pretty good with the moves!
  • Sock puppets makes Flight more watchable for me.
  • That Denzel sock is pretty right on.
  • Both of my least favorite over-hyped young actors: Daniel and Joseph. I said I would TRY not to be mean! #justmyopinion
  • Haha this may be my favorite Sally Field performance ever, aside from Mrs. Doubtfire
  • Finally. Some damn Broadway glitz. I love this shiz. No one does it better than Billy Crystal.
  • Octavia looks beautiful!
  • SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christophe Waltz beats out Robert DeNiro, and thankfully, Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I enjoyed him in Django!
  • Why aren’t there million dollar new commercials for Oscar Sunday?
  • I ❤ Paul Rudd, from Clueless onward
  • Am I not paying close enough attention? I don’t know what’s going on here between P Rudd and Melissa McCarthy?
  • Oh after Supporting Actress it will be the stretch where I have time to make lunches and switch my laundry
  • Whoa. Love the Brave lady’s lacy blue crazy dress. Good for her.
  • Did you ever think back to Reese Witherspoon in Fear and Cruel Intentions and find yourself in awe that she is an Oscar winner? Good for her, too.
  • Still haven’t seen Les Mis and I’m kicking myself for it. I’m a musical nerd.
  • Ah George. Only old guy I’m not creeped out by with that beard.
  • Haha.. upon seeing those 5 men walk out, me- “Who are these people?” Husband- “Avengers” The dark chocolate has again caught my eye.
  • BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Life of Pi. I heard this was a shoo in. Another one for the list. “The movie was quite a beast to make.” Pun intended long haired guy! Weee!
  • Tea time (green tea, decaf, as not to interfere with this evening’s Nyquil)
  • WOW. Cruel use of the Jaws theme to push people off stage!
  • I miss when Jennifer Aniston was in with the Clooney crowd. Glory days.
  • The lady on the right for hair and makeup looks like someone in Ann Arbor dressed her.
  • Halle- gorgeous as ever. I also have a new appreciate for Bond. Thanks honey 🙂
  • They said pussy on ABC and I giggled.
  • Oh the James Bond tribute. Dame someone. She’s cute and I feel for her.
  • They should have had Mya Rudolph “do” her.
  • Oh it’s Shirley Bassey. I’m sorry that doesn’t mean something to me.
  • I would love a little Chris Cornell, Alicia Keys and Jack White to go along with my Bond tribute. Them + Adele = my favorite Bond songs.
  • (Unrelated to Oscars) I may start watching Scandal. I need something easily accessible. ABC.com baby.
  • The short films guy looks like the gay brother from Wedding Crashers.
  • Liam Neeson. I know something personal about him. Haha. You can guess, if you’d like.
  • Argo was my favorite of the best pictures that I saw. I hope it wins!
  • I didn’t see Zero Dark Thirty (yet) but I feel like I want Jessica Chastain to win. Something about her I really like.
  • I think Jimmy Fallon should host sometime. If they want charming and genuine and talented and funny… should I go on?
  • Do they not have an announcer? Seth has to do his own intro and outros? Cheap!
  • Laundry time.
  • Catherine.. don’t blow it. All That Jazz.
  • Aw and people want to give Beyonce a hard time for lip syncing. Phf.
  • Yeah JHud give it to em.
  • The Oscars just became the Jennifer Hudson show. But you can’t deny it. LoL poor Catherine Zeta Jones.
  • Okay give me some Hugh. Let’s see how these Les Mis people can hold up after that.
  • He’s adorable. Can’t help it. Take your shirt off.
  • The cast sounds good. Makes me proud! I love when people really sing.
  • Bad news, I still have to make lunches for tomorrow.
  • I think I’d like Zoe Saldana’s dress without the belt.
  • I love Mark Walhberg with a stuffed animal. Really shows his acting capabilities.
  • A TIE! GASP! Sound editing. Cutthroat!
  • Lots of long-haired men in sound editing.
  • SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Anne Hathaway. Bleh. I hope my opinion changes after seeing Les Mis.
  • Relieved to see the snack ladies coming down to feed the hungry famous people.
  • Back stretch time #thisisrockbottom
  • Adele is so classic. I hope she’s around forever.
  • No one has a bad word to say about her. She’s amazing!
  • I really do have to make those lunches now…
  • All right, I’m back, just in time for the dead people and the Barbara Streisand. I don’t think I will last much longer.
  • Love him, but why does Marvin Hamlisch get his own tribute?
  • Why is the 10 year mark of Chicago winning stuff a thing?
  • Also means 10 years since I saw Richard Gere on Letterman (2nd row!) Eek. Time flies.
  • I prefer Renee Zellweger in, you guessed it, Empire Records!
  • Arshen and Cajub = hottest names of 2013 for babies
  • I still love me some Norah Jones
  • So thrilled for Adele. She is super adorable. My total fav. And someone named Bobby Broccoli helped make that song.
  • Charlize is second in line to be my girlfriend, after you know who
  • I should be in bed. Guilt is taking over.
  • Tarantino: screen play. He’s such a weirdo lol.
  • And someone still says “peace out”. It’s comforting.
  • Best commercial goes to – Grey Poupon. Brilliant. I will go to GreyPoupon.com and watch your movie!
  • I’m tired. Spit those awards out!
  • DIRECTOR: Ang Lee. Spielberg cannot believe his life.
  • Source tells me Life of Pi wasn’t that great. Just passing that along.
  • Just when you were dying to see how I closed this great live sampling session… you’re about to see it right here: just short of everything we’ve been waiting for all night, I must retire. In closing:
  • GO: Hugh Jackman, Jessica Chastain, and Argo. We’ll see how it unfolds. Until tomorrow, I bid you adieu. Thanks for hangin’ tough with me.
  • UPDATE:
    I’ve had some time to reflect on the show and would like to add:
    -Hugh Jackman rushing to Jennifer Lawrence’s rescue? Cutest thing ever. The man is chivalry.
    -Jennifer Lawrence is more likable than originally thought. And despite her fall, was it not the most graceful, beautiful fall ever? Tell me this doesn’t look like Cinderella.20130226-215933.jpg
    -Anne Hathaway, you should have gone with the first dress. Really.
    -Ben Affleck for most adorable acceptance speech.

    I think that’s all. Emphasis on the Hugh and Cinderella points. Until next year!

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